Do you think it’s fair for a platonic relationship to end because of a new relationship?
This year has been challenging and unfortunately, people have let me down. During this tumultuous time, I’ve also lost a 20-year friendship due to the insecurities of my friend’s partner. I’ve realised I can’t count on them and not everything is always as it seems. When she’s in town my messages go answered and we don’t catch up, however, if she’s not in town having a coffee and chat is no problem.
I’ve never done anything for her to feel insecure because our friendship is completely platonic! I confide in him because he’s trustworthy, understands me, knows my past, is non judgemental, is balanced and has a kind, gentle soul. If she gave me the opportunity to meet her then I’m sure she would see I’m just another friend who happens to be female.
My husband has many female friends which has never bothered me - even if I can’t stand one of them! I respect the fact they were friends before we met and after getting to know them I’ve found them to be very lovely, nice and friendly women.
Understandably if you’re in a relationship then suddenly another woman becomes ‘friends’ with your partner, who they didn’t know before you met, then that’s another story – one to question maybe? And no this isn’t a double standard. Past platonic relationship/friendship shouldn’t need to end due to a new relationship, but new friendships one might question? And sometimes for good reason!
However, insecurities need addressing and if you feel you can’t trust your partner ask yourself why?
8 Reasons platonic friendships might cause you emotional stress?
- You are not feeling confident enough within yourself
- For some reason, you’re scared of losing your relationship
- Thinking your relationship isn’t strong enough for partner to have friends of the opposite sex
- The friend is attractive therefore you see them as a threat
- Is it because you’ve been cheated on before in past relationships?
- Your partner lies to you, therefore, you can’t trust them*
- Your current partner has cheated on you before*
- The friend flirts or makes advances towards your partner*
*Obviously, that’s another problem within itself that needs addressing and fixing really quickly!
If you are experiencing these feelings, then it’s time to work out how you can improve the way you feel. Working through your underlying insecurities will actually make you a stronger and happier person by letting go of your insecurities and worries. In doing so you’ll strengthen your relationship with your partner. This will allow you to live a more happy and fulfilling life!
So what does the ‘Big 3’ Stress Solutions Puzzle look like when it comes to Why Do Platonic Friendships End Due to New Relationships?
Just because a large majority of society thinks we should conform to ‘only having friends of the same sex’ I say that’s a load of rubbish.
I think it’s healthy for men and women to be platonic friends. If you aren’t able to have platonic friendships with the opposite sex, then there is something very wrong. To me, it shows maturity and looking beyond people as a ‘sexual’ being and about who they are as a person.
If you think or feel your partner can’t be faithful due to a friendship with the opposite sex, that’s not about ‘that person’ it’s about the strength of your relationship, not the other person.
Having that ‘insecure’ feeling isn’t healthy in a relationship, therefore, it’s time to address it. When you start to work through that feeling with your partner then your relationship will become stronger. If you can’t trust your partner, then you can’t have a healthy relationship. It’s just that simple. Without trust, there is no relationship period!
Remember my motto for positive change is ‘Little Puzzle Pieces Create a Big Picture’... To reduce your emotional stress start by thinking about the key problem you face with your partner having friends of the opposite sex and slowly start taking it from there.
Until next time be thoughtful, be mindful, be present. This is Character 32 doing her best to help you!