Have you experienced gut wrenching pain that makes you feel sick because the stress is so overwhelming? Or felt the adrenaline rush of anxiety take over your body, all because someone’s hurt you? I have…
Yes, it’s true we can also bring this upon ourselves through our own actions. But what about when someone does something that directly affects you and your life? How do we get through those situations?
I’ve learned sometimes I need to be selfish to reduce stress and protect myself. I stop worrying about that person’s feelings, thoughts and actions. I focus on myself and what I need to get me through the situation. Here is what I do…
6 Ways to Deal with a Stressful Situation When Someone Hurts You
1. Focus on my actions to relieve stress
I’m am 100% responsible for my actions just like you are for yours. People can’t make me do anything unless I allow them to. Their actions aren’t mine therefore I need to separate myself from theirs and concentrate on my own. I’m the master of my own mind, therefore, I need to remain in control and focus on myself.
2. Act instead of React by being Proactive to reduce stress
I’ve learned not to be so reactive however there’s still an odd occasion I might slip I am only human of course! But instead of letting others dictate my life, I’ve decided to take action and think of my end goal and how I will achieve it. This helps me be active, not reactive to a situation and take control of my own life.
3. In Stressful Situations, I Remember I’m only human and try to relax
During emotionally stressful situations I remember I am only human too! Putting excessive pressure on myself, having unrealistic expectations or trying to fix a problem straight away will not help my stress. I need to take time out, relax the mind to help gain some clarity and perspective. I find going to the beach relaxing as I walk along the water, plus it helps clear the mind.
4. I stop emotional pain by putting myself first
Without myself who do I have? Think about it? I used to put others needs ahead of my own all the time, but that’s changed. I’ve worked out certain stresses due to others just isn’t worth it. If things aren’t working I need to change it regardless how it might impact others. I am the most important person in my life! I choose me! We only have one life…
5. I reflect on situations which have caused the emotional stress
Hindsight can be a wonderful thing! I find it very beneficial to take ‘myself’ out of the equation and try to look at situations from ‘the other person’s point of view’. Analyze my actions, their actions and see both sides of the argument. This helps me decide if I need to make changes within myself. This is how I can be proactive, not reactive. I also ask different people for their opinion even from those who don’t like me, they're honest by giving me a different point of view. Sometimes I hear hurtful things however life is always about learning and evolving which helps reduce stress.
6. I Ensure I Maintain my '3 part Positive Series' even during stressful times
No matter what is going on around me or who's hurt me, I find it critical to keep doing my 3 part positive series as this allows me to think more clearly (blog below).
If someone has chosen to hurt me whether it’s directly or indirectly I need to acknowledge what has happened, process the situation and how I’m going to tackle it. Yes, I may cry a lot in the process but that’s a very healthy stress relieving and therapeutic thing to do. Releasing the hurt and anger is very cathartic which is an important process.
So what does the ‘Big 3’ Stress Solutions Puzzle look like when it comes to 6 Ways to Deal with a Stressful Situation When Someone Hurts You?
When I’m dealing with stress my stress reduction mantra is “I can’t control someone’s actions towards me but I can control how I deal with it!”. In other words, It doesn’t matter what others say and do, remember you need to keep pushing through, and how you handle the situation is up to you!
Life and people are going to continue to throw you curve balls. It’s up to you how you choose to return the ball. Do you let it keep going through to the keeper and you get struck out? Or do you hit back harder than ever and hit a home run? I’m a home run hitter and I will knock you out of the park!
Remember my motto for positive change is ‘Little Puzzle Pieces Create a Big Picture’... In stressful situations managing stress and anxiety is key to reducing emotional stress. By focusing on myself, my actions, what I can control, what makes me happy and what I want or need makes all the difference when I ensure I’m number one in my life!
Until next time be thoughtful, be mindful, be present. This is Character 32 doing her best to help you!