3 Easy Ways to Deal with People Who Have Controlling Personality Traits

I see life and our overall wellbeing as a complex jigsaw puzzle and ‘stressed pieces’ don’t fit together. The key to ‘life’s puzzle’ is to find and fix our Emotional, Physical and Environmental stresses so our pieces can connect again. That’s why I say life is a journey filled with happiness when all our jigsaw pieces work together – The ‘Big 3’ Stress Solutions Puzzle...


Hi Everyone!

At times, I find myself in a situation when I’m emotionally stress due to someone else’s actions. Other times I need to find my strength quickly to deal with someone or something.

Those who know me will vouch I have a strong personality. Like most people I don’t like or want confrontation with anyone, however, I will not allow people to make me feel weak, less important, or think they the ability control me and overpower me.

Over the last few years, I’ve slowly been learning how to deal with people who have controlling personality traits.


Want to know how to deal with a controlling personality?

When I’m around people who have controlling behaviour traits or manipulative people I find it helpful to control my thoughts and feelings. I find strength by controlling my mind and giving myself positive reinforcements. I do this through visual empowerment and facial expressions.

I’ve come up with these mind exercises that help me deal with controlling people, it’s easy and you can do it too!


Here are my 3 Techniques to deal with Controlling People


1. Smile! It can be unsettling to a controlling person

My wonderful and beautiful Oma (grandmother) once wisely told my aunty who passed this knowledge onto me… Smile because no one knows what you are thinking! Think about it for a minute and how true that is. You can over power someone with a smile. Being so ‘nice’ can be unsettling to someone with controlling behaviour traits or who has a manipulative personality, especially if they are being mean! And the beauty is they can’t tell if you are being genuine or not?!? So smile away!


2. Home run - Knock that controlling person out of the park!

When I’m feeling like someone is trying to control me I remember back to my softball days when I was a home run hitter!! (yes I was that good – am I modest much? ha ha ha). I step up to the plate and visualise the ball and bat as my own power. I see the ball coming and I hit it out of the park! Instant power! You can’t pitch me out…


3. Think of a powerful song to overcome a controlling person!

For me, I love love love Eye of the Tiger (flashback to the movie Rocky when Sylvester Stallone is running up the stairs!). Every time I hear that song I feel empowered and I can take on the world or someone is trying to control me. For some, they might think of the Black Eyed Peas with Boom Boom Pow! For others, it might be We Are The Champions by Queen, whatever it is, you know you go it!


During this time whilst I’m around these people I smile, take deep breaths and remind myself controlling or manipulative people aren’t that happy! Why? Because people who are truly happy within themselves don’t generally act like that. Therefore, I rise above, feel sorry for them and say very little. I just nod and smile politely and agree with what they say, it can be easier this way.  

Not one of these three things are aggressive nor can they be taken as an aggressive form of communication. Simply remember in your mind whoever ‘they are’, they’re not better or able to control you!


So what does the ‘Big 3’ Stress Solutions Puzzle look like when it comes to 3 Easy Ways to Deal with People Who Have Controlling Personality traits?


Emotional stress can come into play when we are dealing with people who try to control us. And it’s inevitable at one time for another we encounter people who are more domineering than we might like. Yes, there are those who have the need to make their viewpoint be the only one that matters and some are just plain bullies. But take solace in knowing whatever the case maybe they can’t control if you don’t allow them too.

Remember my motto for positive change is ‘Little Puzzle Pieces Create a Big Picture’… By practising this exercise technique it allows the mind to be stronger. Think of your brain as a large muscle that gets stronger the more you use it.  Then over the course of time, there are other communication techniques which can be introduced to help you get along with these people better, if for some reason you can’t avoid them. And you can always practise ‘My Triple 5 Rule - 5 Ways in Politely Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, Don’t Like or You Can’t Get Along With’ in the meantime!

Until next time be thoughtful, be mindful, be present. This is Character 32 doing her best to help you!


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