There are times in our lives when we are around emotionally draining people and it can cause us emotional stress! I’m talking about people who constantly whinge! whinge! whinge! about everything in their lives.
Then there are those who are stuck in a rut and will not help themselves get out of the situation. They are waiting for the right person to come along and magically ‘fix’ their lives and make them happy! At times, they are unable to see this within themselves.
And then there are those who constantly live in the past and will not move forward. To them the future isn’t looking bright so it’s easier to stay living in what I call a ‘safe’ place. This is because we already know what’s happened in the past, therefore, it’s safe to remain living there instead of focusing on the present or future.
Or even worse there are people who do all the 3 above! I find it so incredibly draining to be around these types of people!
What does an emotionally draining person look like?
- They whinge about everything and do nothing about it
- They wait for someone to make them feel happy and complete
- Live in the past
- Aren’t positive about anything
- They don’t act and be productive about things that upset them
- They speak negatively about others easily and find no fault in themselves
- They can’t find things to be positive about
- They’re lonely because people seem less likely to be around them
- They don’t make friends easily
- When socialising they focus on negative things and whinging instead laughing and enjoying themselves
- They don’t have goals or aspirations
- They don’t have hobbies and social events are like to do
What we can do to help an emotionally draining person
- Make suggestions on how they can improve their mood (here’s my 3 part positive series)
- Help them work through their emotional issues to they can ‘let go’ of what’s upsetting them
- Suggest maybe a professional counselling may be required
- Gently let them know they are might be depressed and need help
- Get them to read The Four Agreements
- Suggest they join social groups of things that interest them
- Suggest they start exercising because that help improve our mood
- If they are unhappy about something tell them to act upon it instead of whinging about it
So what does the ‘Big 3’ Stress Solutions Puzzle look like when it comes to Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person and What to Do?
We can only help people to a certain degree. You can talk and talk and talk till you are blue in the face and out of breath and they will not listen. Particularly if you are close to that person. They will disregard what you say and not listen to you. I’ve gotten so mad I’ve been yelling and bashing my hand on the table out of sheer frustration because I’ve been trying to get through to them for years unsuccessful! Being around emotionally draining people who can’t see they are is beyond frustrating!!!
If these people in your life are not prepared to make some changes then slowly pull away and become more distant. It’s not your responsibility to change someone’s life. You can only do what you can do. If they are not going to change then it’s their problem.
Trying to help people who don’t want to be helped is a major emotional stress burden. At the end of the day if you have given it your everything, tried to address the fact they are emotionally draining, made positive suggestions on how they can help themselves, and you’ve done everything in your power and they still don’t listen then it’s time to walk away.
Release yourself from the emotional stress. You will feel free! Move on with your life and don’t look back. Don’t feel guilty because you’ve done everything you can.
Emotional stress can make us physically stressed and then sickness becomes an issue. And why make yourself sick trying to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves?
We only have one life. Being around emotionally draining people who cause us stress isn’t a productive way to live.
Remember my motto for positive change is ‘Little Puzzle Pieces Create a Big Picture’… So, slowly distance yourself from these people (even if they are family!) and enjoy your life. GO! BE HAPPY! And start living your life!!
You can share this blog on Facebook/Twitter and hope they read it and take the hint? But at the end of the day If they don’t want help that’s their problem, not yours.
Until next time be thoughtful, be mindful, be present. This is Character 32 doing her best to help you!