Please note this is a raw, unedited blog therefore my slightly dyslexic brain might have made some grammatical errors….sorry.
I wrote this post below the other week just after we had moved to Utrecht (it was titled How to Deal with Being Betrayed by People You Thought Cared). I was beyond tired from the whirlwind month of moving, packing, international travel and all the while I’m still trying to keep blogging. I was badly jet lagged, my gut health was suffering and I was in a ‘fragile’ emotional state due to the 'Big 3’ stress coming at me left, right and center!
Instead of focusing on the fact the ‘person’ was actually supporting me at that time I was so clouded through bad emotional judgment, I could only see the negative aspect which in hindsight wasn’t really negative at all!
All that set me off was an email forward to me thought an indirect party saying ‘I went and liked the posts while I was bored’. Due to the struggles I’ve been facing getting C32 up and running (I explain in more detail in the blog) my frame of mind took it the wrong way because I had asked them a few time to like the Character 32 page.
Instead of focusing on the fact that they went and liked the posts and were actually supporting me (even though they work 50+ hrs a week), I went to a dark place in my mind. It just goes to show I am right when it comes to the 'Big 3’ stresses because in my healthy, happy state of mind I know this person would never intentionally do anything to upset me. I’m glad I had enough sense to not respond to that email otherwise I could have caused angst or worse ended a friendship all because I was ‘stressed’ and felt betrayed.
My husband pointed out I was so ‘tired’ from everything we had going on. I needed to take a step back from Character 32, regain my health, recharge and find clarity in my mind. All the hours I’d put in had become detrimental to my health. My mantra ‘You need to live before you can give’ went out the window and my health suffered.
So because I’m all about ‘keeping it real’ and with me there are no false facades so here’s the blog post I wrote when the 'Big 3’ were playing with me! (Naughty Big 3!)
I’m about to show you just how ‘RAW’ my emotional state of mind was at the time. Here was my post…
My life isn’t all bells and whistles and ‘everything is happy all the time’.
As I sit here typing this blog I have tears streaming down my face. I didn’t realise just how mean and hurtful people could be, yet be so nice to your face. I honestly thought they were a (friend/good acquaintance) and that they were supporting me in my Character 32 venture, but sadly it turns out I was wrong.
I’m not sure I was meant to see the correspondence that I did which was forwarded to me, however when I read it I was shocked! The betrayal is so raw.
Since I’ve been trying to get my blog up and running it’s been the biggest uphill battle I’ve ever tried to accomplish. I thought family and friends were meant to be supportive of one another? Turns out that’s not always the case.
My entire life I’ve struggled with people not because I’m a nasty person, not because I’m mean……but because most of the time people are a little jealous of me. They see my life, my designer things, I’m globetrotting around the world and it doesn’t hurt that I am an attractive woman, therefore it can rub people the wrong way. Yes, I can be opinionated and at times stubborn but most of the time it’s about people’s perceptions of me.
And I know I wrote the post the other week ‘How I go about dealing with jealousy so it doesn’t stress me out!’ but this isn’t about stressing me out, this is about being outright hurt and feeling betrayed by a person who I thought was a (friend/good acquaintance).
I’ve known this person for years and to see a little insight into what they really think of me, well at least I now know my place and what they really think of my Character 32 blog.
I feel like my motto ‘be thoughtful, be mindful, be present’ doesn’t seem to apply to me at the moment….I still feel emotional stress even though I blog about it because after all, I am human too.
So what does the 'Big 3’ Stress Solutions Puzzle look like when it comes to How to Deal with Being Betrayed by People You Thought Cared?
Ok so I’ll admit I was crying at the beginning of typing this blog, I was so hurt and betrayed by their words. I couldn’t believe they would only like my stuff because they were bored. It was like my emotional stress just got a massive kick in the behind! I should also point out since we have temporarily moved to Utrecht my physical and environmental stress has taken a toll on my emotional stress, therefore I’m a little more emotionally sensitive than normal!
What’s I’ve learned through this process is just because people say they will ‘support you’ doesn’t always mean they really want to, instead they are only doing it out of ‘feeling obligated’.
Therefore, asking anyone to support me in my venture it’s something I shouldn’t do! Which I’ve been slowly learning over the last few months because people have just ignored my messages or say they would support me/follow me and then they don’t! I’m constantly being let down, ignored and worse being ‘talked about behind my back’….talk about being betrayed.
I’m looking at this as a learning and growing experience because sometimes through pain, hurt you find out the real truth. And I think it’s better to know where you stand with people than having a false sense of where you think you stand with that person.
Nothing can be learned or accomplished in this life without taking risks, putting yourself out there and doing your best each and every day. All you can do it give it your best go put your heart and soul into and keep trying to reach your goals.
Life isn’t always meant to be easy and people can and will hurt you along the way. But all you have to do is pick yourself up, give yourself a gentle hug and be kind to yourself.
Remember hurtful words are only that…. they’re words, and words can only hurt you if you allow them too! So what if they think what I’m doing isn’t ‘worth it’ or what I’m doing is just ‘silly’. The day will come when I prove them wrong and they’ll say ‘Congratulations on how successful Character 32 has become’. I need to remember The Four Agreements and not take anything personally and always do my best!
Words will not deter me, nor will I let words hurt me. I felt betrayal, I had a cry, let go of the pain and now I will move on. People can only hurt you if you allow them, so remember to surround yourself with people who matter and who truly care.
As you can see I was in a really mixed head space and what I thought was reality turned out not to be the case. Because I was so stressed by the 'Big 3’ stressors I went dark in my thought process because I couldn’t see the light. It was like I was ‘play the victim’ instead of focusing on the positive actions as this person was in fact supporting me
So what does the 'Big 3’ Stress Solutions Puzzle look like when it comes to How The Effects of Stress Can Cause Emotional Sensitivity?
This is what can happen to us all from time to time when we are stressed. We can’t think clearly through the clouds that surround us which can be detrimental to our everyday life causing friction with those around us. We can take a positive situation and turn it into a negative one all based on our stress levels. Stress can play havoc on our minds and lives if we allow the 'Big 3’ to take control over us.
It’s really a good thing I know and remembered that the person I thought had ‘betrayed’ me was in actual fact supporting me.
I also want to reiterate I pulled myself back together and stopped the ‘hurt’ even though I had created this situation. I let go of what pain and hurt I ‘thought’ I was going through and continued on with life.
Most importantly though it’s about how I look at a situation and its circumstances. The effects of stress can cause emotional sensitivity which is why I can’t let the 'Big 3’ stresses beat me!
Until next time be thoughtful, be mindful, be present. This is Character 32 doing her best to help you!